Stuff Scene Kids Like

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The Guest List

Friday, 01 May 2009 00:00 Keat

 

Let’s face it. We know you don’t go to shows for the music, so really, why should you pay? …at least not in money. That’s why there’s a guest list. Suck someone off, get a show-going Gold Card.

But really, the guest list was created for friends, family, and industry reps you want to sign your band. It was all well and good until girls (or guys ,just ask The Millionaires and Hayley Paramore) were born with dicks in their mouths. From that moment on, Grammy and Grampy got booted for the Suicide Girl you met last week.

Along with every guest list comes with the girls that aspire to be on it and the not so famous friends that incessantly get kicked off of it. Why wish to be on a GL? Besides the whole “in for free” thing, there comes the self righteousness of that forever cooler than you phrase; “I’m on the list“. There is no other way to rep your sweet boob job and extensions to that girl that you hate that’s Myspace famous. “I’m on the list” is like saying “I’m in a more popular porno than you” to someone on VH1’s Celeb-Reality.
In the words of Steve Carell, being on a guest list means “Boom! Roasted”.

The guest list-ers are the cheerleaders and football jocks of every show, being cooler than you for no reason and flaunting it with their $00.00 House of Blues tickets. If you’re not on the guest list, you’re not REALLY scene, so get over it, get new neon extensions, and better luck next time.

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