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Pretending You're A Lumberjack

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lumberjack

After a good 20 years or so, tight jeans and band tees just weren’t cutting it for scene kids. The bitter winters of scenester metropolises like Long Island and Boston made way for a whole new genre of scenester style: the lumberjack.

North Face jackets and puffy coats are just too prep, but flannels, L.L. Bean boots, and beards that double as scarves keep the idea of individualism alive.

Hate to break it to you Molly Moshpit and Joey Bro-down, but the guy on your paper towels beat you to this before you were even born. Flannel is like the new black in the scene. You can get flannel dresses, flannel hats, flannel flannels, even flannel printed on your shirts. Scenesters are eating it up like a pie of fresh vegan pizza.

Unlike other scene trents (see foil print shirts), pretending you are a lumberjack is legitemately logical (unless you’re wearing flannel at Warped Tour).

Flannel is a high quality, warm, durable material. Made of thick, soft, tightly knit cotton, flannel is almost like down. It keeps wind out, body heat in, and the button down gives it real class. Courderoy is very similar. Its soft, makes great swishy noises when you walk, and is  way warmer in the winter time than regular denim. Even smarter are the L.L. Bean rubber toed lace up boots I have recently spotted out and about on scenester turf. When a ‘Noreaster hits town, leaving three feet of snow, Chuck Taylors are about as useful as an iTrip without an iPod. L.L. Bean’s suddenly trendy boots on the other hand come with a lifetime warranty (and when they say forever, through thick and thin, they really mean FOREVER), and some incredible water/coldproofing.  As for having a huge beard, the only useful thing it serves is a spot to stash that dimebag you’ve got laying around…
Although lumberjack attire does serve its purpose when waiting out in a blizzard for 12 hours to be barricade for Thursday, it once again gives scene kids a false sense of belief. Just because you can dress and equip yourself like a lumberjack does not mean you should get all Rage Against the Machine circa the 2000 VMA’s and start climbing on amps to scream along to your favorite post-hardcore ballads. Nor does it mean that you are in fact incredibly tough and can beat people up in the mosh pit like you’re the Jolly Green Giant. You will get a bloody nose girls, I don’t care how many flannels you have on.
Scene kids have been ripping trends from tons of different professions for years (No Doubt in Car Mechanic Suits circa 2000 ), but the lumberjack is by far the most ridiculous. Since when does cutting down trees have anything to do with pop punk? You never know, the Brawny man may have a soft spot for Four Year Strong too…

 

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