Stuff Scene Kids Like

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Glaceau Vitamin Water and Smart Water

Friday, 27 March 2009 00:00 Keat

 

I may not speak French, but I’m pretty sure that “Glaceau” does not mean “leopard print hair” or“i<3PeteWentz”…but you never know. The beverage company has, over the past 10 years created an elite line of overpriced Juicy Juice and “enhanced” water.
Although the majority of the Glaceau Vitamin Water flavors taste like  watery grape juice,  their simple yet bright wrappers make them an XedgeX kid drink of choice. They even cater to the biggest scene superstars! (see: 50 Cent’s Formula 50 flavor, and Jack Barakat’s favorite: Jackfruit) The array of obscure Vitamin Water tastes gives the drink the edge to keep it different, and the colors to suit the scene…not to mention, the flavors make great aliases. Wuddup Dani Dragonfruit.

Vitamin Water may be mediocre, but Glaceau’s Smart Water is the cream of the crop. Sadly, Smart Water doesn’t really get any scene queens to legitimately smarten up and throw out the dead possums they call hair extensions, but there is something about it that is silky. Smart Water flows down your throat more smoothly than any rockstar’s semen after some raunchy back of the van action.

Glaceau is the ruler of the scenester drink, and has been for years. Their colorful yet simple designs make FUZE look like they’re trying too hard, and Life Water like a poser. Glaceau got the memo years ago, and have been keeping true to it: nothing is scener than the first; the original, even when it comes to juicy drinks and fancy water.

(and scene points aren’t cheap.)

 

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