We know you’re a trust fund baby, stop acting like you’re poor, scenesters. For products of suburbia with arms loaded up with $15 rubber bracelets and $500 cameras to wear just for show, scene kids sure do love free stuff.
Thanks to the Warped Tour culture, free stuff and festivals have become an automatic scene kid association. Scenesters everywhere will show up at their select festival with an empty bag, and leave at the end of the day overflowing in what they consider thefruits of their swag-harvest.
In reality, the majority of the free stuff scenebeans live for is crap…Do you really need a pair of orange argyle socks that remind you of the horrors of smoking cigarettes? Nope. Do you really need more stickers and buttons that say “I’m not a nugget”? DEFINITELY NOT. Free stuff, much like the scene kids that buy into it is just another thing factoring into the waste of the world…..Although, I did stock up on Tinglerz at Bamboozle this year.
The worst part about giving away free stuff is that it makes selling legitimate items thatmuch harder. If you’ve ever been in a band trying to hustle cds, or part of an organization trying to raise money at a festival, you know exactly what I mean.
Example:
Band Guy Hustling: Hey! Do you want to check out my band? Listen to this ipod. We’re selling our EP for $8
Free Stuff Kid: 0mgz ur lyk3 s0 g00d. d0 y0u haz any free stuffzzzz?!
Band Guy: Well our cd is only $8…
Kid: IZ IT FREEEE??
Band Guy: Umm…no….but you can have a hug and a flyer?
Kid: SCOOORE! FREE FLYERS! SAY WUUUUUT MOTHAFUKKAZZZZ
Free can be great, when it involves food, water, or getting guestlisted, but when it comes to free trash, it’s a big scenester no-no and best to stay away. Not only that; everyone knows you’re the asshole with an entire bag filled with mediocre samplers, PETA stickers, and twelve copies The Official Warped Tour Program. But if you’re into looking like a neon bag lady, be my guest….
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