Hot Mess
With as much promotion as this album has received since the May release of “Good Girls Go Bad,” I expected a lot more from Gabe Saporta & Co. From advertisements to MTV plugs and the release of a music video, Hot Mess has been causing quite a stir. While it is known that there is no such thing as bad press, there is such thing as bad music.
Hyped up by the band members, Decaydance, Fueled by Ramen, and you know, that one chick from Gossip Girl, Cobra Starship’s new album has fallen short of its expectations. While fanning myself at Warped Tour with a cardboard cutout of Hot Mess’ album art, I wondered if this was Gabe Saporta’s plan all along… or if this was one of those things that just happens. His career has been on a steady decline into the world of neon plastic sunglasses and electro-pop nightmares since Cobra’s first album. With tracks that are beyond dull, and a few that cause me to actually shudder in disgust, Hot Mess has done one thing right: stayed true to its name.
“Nice Guys Finish Last” is not just the worst song on the album, but quite possibly the worst song I have ever heard. The simplistic radio-pop beat, boring melodies and brainless lyrics are almost as nauseating as the female vocals. It would have done better buried further in the CD as the sixth or seventh track. Songs like “Pete Wentz Is The Only Reason We’re Famous” and “Fold Your Hands Child” instantly fade into background music after the first 30 seconds. “Wet Hot American Summer” could be tolerated with its catchy combination of retro synth sounds and drum beats, but I get lost in the cheesy chorus and bridge. Lyrically, the 11 tracks give the same pretentious message: Gabe Saporta is a bad boy with an attitude who will make you “move like you’re gonna die soon”… whatever that means.
A few of the songs worth listening to on this album include “Good Girls Go Bad” for its catchiness and memorable chorus. While Leighton Meester probably shouldn’t pursue a singing career, I will hand it to Cobra for scoring and executing that A-list marketing tactic. I do enjoy the overall liveliness and upbeat tone of “You’re Not In On The Joke,” simply for the fact that it stays true to Cobra Starship’s sound. The entire first verse and chorus display creative melodies and vocal tonality, which carries throughout the track until the energetic screaming in the end. Besides these two tracks, however, it is safe to say that this Cobra album fails to be a guilty pleasure for me.
While there isn’t much to boast about in the realm of instrumental talent and creativity, let it be known that Saporta’s voice and tone makes Hot Mess bearable at best. That should be expected from someone with a career such as his, though. The same goes for the production value, which I attribute as merely “noteworthy.” However, only perfection should be expected from such names as S*A*M and Sluggo, Patrick Stump, Kevin Rudolf, and Benny Blanco. Sadly, this list of cool brags managed to produce something good… but not great. And I want to know who paid MTV reviewer James Montgomery to deem Hot Mess Cobra’s “most brilliant album.” I’d say it’s more like falling asleep on a train to Midtown, missing my stop, and ending up in a place where the girls are bad, the guys all brag, and Saporta’s v-necks are deeper than his lyrics.
Rating: 2.5/5
Your thoughts?
About:
Band: Cobra Starship
Album: Hot Mess
Label: Decaydance/Fueled by Ramen
Release: August 11, 2009
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Hunter
said:
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Old Cobra = Love I was the biggest cobra fan girl until this album ame out in August. I dont wear my cobra shirt anymore. The old music was so much better, its not even funny. Seriously. Check out When The City Sleeps We Rule The Streets. |
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